Called Forth -- Once Again

By Charlotte Chandler

When God calls us forth into a new direction, or simply “His plan for our life”, it may not always be familiar or the comfort to which we have been accustomed. It may be a path on which we know that only God can use us, because we have not the “know how” to bring it forth. And, such was the case for me, when experiences in my life led me to an opportunity to not only answer the call once, but twice.

I grew up in a Christian home where my mother took us to church every time the doors were open. She was our spiritual leader. My father worked hard to provide for his family, made a profession in Christ, but did not attend church regularly with us. Growing up, I didn’t realize that a large part of what we believed was really very legalistic. I just knew there were a lot of rules we had to obey. However, I am grateful for my Christian heritage, and the values they taught us four children. Later, this would cause some codependent issues of which I would have to work through.

As a child, we lived in Louisville, KY, but when I was 12, we moved back to Columbia, KY, a small rural community in south central Kentucky, from where I was born. I was an above-average student, liked to study and made good grades. I was not athletic or popular. I was shy, and more of an introvert. So, for the most part, I was not tempted with a lot of things my peers were experiencing. I made a profession of faith in Christ at the age of 9. My teen activities were centered around church and some events at school. Even though I was not popular, I usually had a boyfriend. I liked being in a relationship.

I graduated from high school at 17, and went on to mortuary school to become a funeral director and embalmer. That was the beginning of “coming out of my shell”. I lived in southern Indiana while attending school in Louisville. Even though I didn’t go on the “wild side”, my personality started to blossom to where I could communicate easier with others, and had more of a self-confident spirit. I moved to Tennessee for my first job, then back to Kentucky after about two years. Then, in the mid ‘80’s, I moved to Lexington, KY to work. That is where my life would take a different direction.

I started attending a large church in Lexington, and became involved in the singles group. I met a wonderful man, and we became friends almost instantly, due to similar interests. We began a dating relationship which was prefaced with his telling me about his struggles with homosexuality. I was not familiar with the lifestyle, nor didn’t know of anyone personally, to my knowledge, who was gay. Maybe it was intrigue that drew me to him, or possibly God to do a work in me. After several months, the dating relationship ended due to his continued struggles, and he left me and the church in order to live a gay lifestyle with a partner. The pain and rejection I felt was overwhelming, and for a period of time, I had to suffer in silence around his family because they knew nothing about his struggles. Finally, he told his parents, and they were devastated. They were a Christian family---this wasn’t suppose to happen. The agony they felt was heartbreaking, so I tried to console them as well as myself.

In the meantime, someone told me about Exodus, and I contacted them. At least, there was some information out there that could possibly help the situation. I then discovered that there was no ministry of this type in Kentucky. All over the United States, there were ministries affiliated with Exodus, but not here. So, another man in the church, who had once lived in the gay lifestyle, and was later married, he and I started CrossOver. From the pain of his past, and the recent situation I had just been through, we felt there should be a ministry in Lexington that could help others just like us.

CrossOver, taken from the Israelites crossing the Red Sea from bondage into freedom, became a reality in 1986. We had men and women’s groups, a spouse and parents’ support group, individual mentoring, and speaking engagements to local churches. I worked with CrossOver in some capacity until 1994. I met John (now my husband), and after we married, I decided to quit my funeral home career to work with John in his business. I resigned my duties with CrossOver, but the ministry would remain in my heart.

In 2001, John and I moved back to Columbia. In the fall of 2006, God spoke in my spirit to contact CrossOver, to see if the ministry was still in existence. I had become involved with civic and community activities, knowing I wanted to serve others, but the call to reach those struggling with homosexuality, sprang forth. I shared with my pastor about my past experiences, and he allowed me to share my testimony with the church. A few individuals shared with me afterwards about a relative or someone they knew living in the lifestyle. Again, we are a rural community, and coming forth to talk about this topic, is still difficult.

My vision is to have a satellite ministry in the south central Kentucky area, where individuals can come and share openly and confidentially with others about their struggle. I want to impart education and compassion within the church body, sharing with local pastors and congregations about this issue. I want to “rise up to the call” once again, and share God’s love with those who so desperately need it. Here am I, Lord, send me!